OK, here we go. You see, my buddy Mike occasionally moonlights on his local rawk radio station as Le Brain, the un-stumpable rock music trivia master for a program called the Four Play (at 4pm). They play four songs and listeners have to guess the connection between the four tracks. Mike has, it turns out, submitted over 200 of these to the radio station so far. Yes, 200. So, he recently got invited to do a whole week (Monday – Friday) of these shows as a guest… with a twist… the tables get turned, and listeners submitted Four Plays to try to stump Mike!

The good man forwarded the tracks to me, and I played all five days in my headphones. In a row. Yes, I sat up most of the night. I heard much great rawk. And how did Mike manage, with these challenges? Read on.

Four-Play #1 (submitted by Chris Cottingham)

01 Motley Crue – Shout At The Devil

01 Mike’s Guess: ‘tracks that were not singles’ (no)

02 Rolling Stones – Brown Sugar

02 Mike’s Guess: ‘bands that have toured with guns ‘n roses’ (no)

03 Bruce Springsteen – Cover Me

03 Mike’s Guess: ‘special lp packaging’ (no)

04 Loverboy – Working For The Weekend *

04 Mike’s Guess: ‘album covers featuring pants’ (yes!)

* at this point, before Mike’s last guess, it was exposed that the Motley Crue song was supposed to have been Live Wire, which changed everything, and he got it from there.

Comment: He still got it, even with a wrong song played. Improbable? Never! The man is a machine.

Score: Mike is 1/1.

Four-Play #2 (submitted by The Crook in Elmira)

01 Motorhead – Ace Of Spades (live)

01 Mike’s Guess: ‘artists who’ve done duets with Ozzy Osbourne’ (yes!)

02 Alice Cooper – School’s Out

03 Dio – Holy Diver

04 Lita Ford – Kiss Me Deadly

Comment: He nailed this one before the first song was even over. Jeez.

Score: Mike is 2/2.

Four-Play #3 (submitted by Kathryn Ladano, Mike’s sister)

01 Rush – Subdivisions

01 Mike’s Guess: ‘album covers with dogs on them’ (no)

02 Neil Young – Rockin’ In The Free World

02 Mike’s Guess: ‘all Canadian artists’ (no)

03 Guess Who – Runnin’ Back To Saskatoon

03 Mike’s Guess: ‘songs about Canadian cities’ (no)

04 Loverboy – Turn Me Loose

04 Mike’s Guess: ‘all artists who sang on Tears Are Not Enough’ (yes!)

Comment:

Broadcasted live from Chicopee ski resort. This was not the Four Play that Kathryn had wanted played, so her confidence at being able to stump her brother was pretty low, at the outset. It shocked me that Mike had never heard the Guess Who song before. I thought everybody knew that song. Anyway. I actually got to hear most of this broadcast in real time through the web link, but had to leave for work before it was over. He gets it at the end. Awesome.

Score: Mike is 3/3.

Four-Play #4 (submitted by Greg Loutenschlager sp?)

01 Megadeth – Hangar 18

01 Mike’s Guess: ‘science fiction, aliens, conspiracy theme’ (no)

02 Quiet Riot – We’re All Crazy Now

02 Mike’s Guess: ‘books (1984, Roswell)’ (no)

02 Mike’s Extra Guess: ‘stripey pants’ (no)

03 Iron Maiden – The Trooper

03 Mike’s Guess: ‘bands that opened for Sabbath’ (no)

04 Dio – Rainbow In The Dark

04 Mike’s Guess: ‘all four albums covers were paintings’ (yes!)

Comment: Definitely a HEAVY set, which I thoroughly enjoyed. And Mike nails it. So cool.

Score: Mike is 4/4.

Four-Play #5 (submitted by Nick Byerjean sp?)

01 KISS – Beth

01 Mike’s Guess: ‘songs that originated as b-sides’ (no)

01 Mike’s Extra Guess: ‘no members of the band played on the track’ (no)

01 Mike’s Extra Guess: ‘crappy songs from great albums’ (no)

02 Guns ‘N Roses – Used To Love Her

02 Mike’s Guess: ‘single monikered album titles’ (no)

02 Mike’s Extra Guess: ‘songs with unusual percussion’ (no)

02 Mike’s Extra Guess: ‘songs people think is about one thing, but it’s about something else” (no)

02 Mike’s Extra Guess: ‘acoustic ballads’ (no)

03 Aerosmith – Angel

03 Mike’s Guess: ‘bands led by duos’ (no)

03 Mike’s Extra Guess: ‘bands who shortened their name from something longer (no)

03 Mike’s Extra Guess ‘all are bands from America’ (no)

04 Slash with Andrew Stockdale – By The Sword

04 Mike’s Guess: ‘songs released in even numbered years’ (no)

04 Mike’s Extra Guess: ‘all albums released in leap years’ (no)

04 Mike’s Extra Guess: ‘songs released in Canadian-hosted Olympic years’ (yes!)

Comment: OK, that was RIDICULOUS. Hearing him work through that last one was incredible. Even with all the extra guesses, that answer was from so far out of left field. Wow.

Other Comments: Kathryn tried to embarrass Mike by emailing that he liked Avril Lavigne, and Mike just said he still does. And he once owned the Spiceworld movie… He claims he had a thing for Sporty. No fault there. He cannot be shamed. This was also the first show where some random person phoned in with an extra Stumper question (which Mike got). I found it a bit distracting from the mission at hand, but whatever. Also, as you’ll have noted above, Mike was given a lot of extra guesses for this final day. Guess they really wanted him to go 5 for 5. The DJ also slipped and announced the Aerosmith song title and artist, the only time in the whole week he did that. Kathryn also threw in a guess, ‘all songs in Eb.’ (no). Others emailed guesses as well (another first, for the week). All were incorrect. It was also announced that the entire month of February’s Four Plays would all be from Mike, in honour of his contributions. Sweet!

Score: Mike is 5/5.

The Final Analysis

Mike OWNED this. He truly does have a breadth and depth of rock trivia knowledge that verges on frightening. It’s awe-inspiring. He’s a true fan. And he does seem to be able to think laterally and pulls some pretty wild connections together in a short amount of time. Wild. Thanks to Mike for sending me the tracks so I could hear his performance throughout that week. I hope they do this again, sometime. It was fun to listen to! And Mike, buddy, I’m surprised no one else said it, but you really do have a great face for radio. Ooooooooo!

You see, it’s long been time for me to post my annual Best Of list.. yet, there’s been a bit of hesitation. This year brings us something different than previous years. There was a time that making up a list of 31 top records from the year was easy. I was more on top of things, I guess. This year, I don’t have as many new releases in my collection.

I’ve been buying the same amount of music, but this year, most of it has been on vinyl, and not one of those records was released in 2011 (it’s mostly sweet, older stuff). Even music on CD that I bought this year was mostly to fill earlier gaps in my collections of bands. So, not much of it was from this year.

However, fear not, because I did indeed get a few records that were actually released within paramters, and (of course) they were all awesome. I wouldn’t have bought them, otherwise.

My Best Of 2011:

———————–

Wynton Marsalis & Eric Clapton – Play The Blues: Live From Jazz At Lincoln Center

This package has it all. Absolutely SWEET jazz and blues played by superlative musicians in an atmosphere of love, respect, and friendly competition. This is jazz the way it was meant to be played, and they knock this one out of the park. I just can’t stop listening to it. It is THAT good.

20 Other Bloody Great Records From 2011:

—————————————————-

Sloan – The Double Cross

Eddie Vedder – Ukulele Songs

Tom Waits – Bad As Me

Mastodon – The Hunter

Off! – The First Four EPs

Pearl Jam – Live On Ten Legs

Me First And The Gimme Gimmes – Go Down Under

Geoff Berner – Victory Party

Strippers Union – The Deuce

Paul MacLeod – Gauge

Hawksley Workman – Full Moon Eleven

Me First And The Gimme Gimmes – Sing in Japanese

Various – Sing For Your Meat: A Tribute To Guided By Voices

And we can’t forget the ubiquitous Mr. Pollard’s 7 (!) contributions…

—————————————————————

Robert Pollard – Space City Kicks

Lifeguards – Waving At The Astronauts

Mars Classroom – The New Theory Of Everything

Robert Pollard – Lord Of The Birdcage

Boston Spaceships – Let It Beard

Circus Devils – Capsized!

Boston Spaceships – Let It Beard Boombox Demos

(20)

Shopping List Of Records From 2011 (Still To Get):

————————————————————-

Stephen Malkmus & The Jicks – Mirror Traffic

Bon Iver – Bon Iver

Roots – Undun

Opeth – Heritage… ALL!!!

Robbie Robertson – How To Become Clairvoyant

Wilco – The Whole Love

Pegi Young & The Survivors – Bracing For Impact

Kathryn Calder – Bright And Vivid

Wild Flag – Wild Flag

Previous Winners Of The Annual Best Of Series:

———————————————————

2010 Jack Johnson – To The Sea

2009 Leonard Cohen – Live In London

2008 Metallica – Death Magnetic

2007 Carolyn Mark – Nothing Is Free / Immaculate Machine – Fables (tie)

2006 Sloan – Never Hear The End Of It

Relax, I am not about to say anything mean.

To die at 48, whatever the cause… shit, that sucks. People will mock her for the drugs, and that’s weak. Addicts are addicts. Easy to judge when it isn’t you.

So, why do I comment on Whitney’s passing? I probably haven’t heard one of her songs since I got a couple of her albums from the Columbia House tape club when I was ten years old. I mean, one of my favourite memories of her music is Eddie Murphy singing The Greatest Love Of All, as Sexual Chocolate, in Coming To America. I’m not exactly about to wax poetic, here.

But what I will lament is the passing of her singular talent. That Voice! My goodness, she was truly a siren of song. And what makes me saddest about her passing is her not realizing my one great hope for her: that one day she would get off the drugs enough that she could make a proper blues/soul record. Think about it. If she had stopped singing that Lite FM pop pap love crap and made a balls-out soul record like Aretha Franklin or Bettye LaVette, in the old school vein, she would have taken over the world for good. 

That Voice was built for that kind of music (though she’d have been welcome to leave out the singing so high that only dogs can hear her). And while some may argue that her earlier work was kinda sorta aimed at that, I’d argue not. Not fully. Not whole-heartedly. Not sweaty-smoky-barroom on a bottle a day while gospel-repenting on Sunday blues and soul like it ought to have been.

Anyway. I think the same thing about Mariah Carey (not that I wish she was dead too, I don’t). But she should also be doing that music for sure, not that r&b plastic stuff.

And here we are, not yet even over the recent passing of Etta James.

RIP.

But, I thought about it. Then, I left it alone for a while, tried not to think about it. Then I came back to it… And I chose…

Guided By Voices – Bee Thousand

It rocks, it’s imperfect (and doesn’t care), and it’s so packed full of huge riffs and song ideas that other bands only wish they’d been that cool. It really is awesome. GBV! GBV! GBV!

Here’s ten others I thought of, as I did this. All of these have equally compelling (to me) reasons for being chosen:

Black Flag – Damaged

Wynton Marsalis – Standard Time Volume 3: The Resolution Of Romance

Rolling Stones – Exile On Main St.

Tom Waits – Mule Variations

Tragically Hip – Day For Night

Miles Davis – Kind Of Blue

Metallica – Master Of Puppets

Sloan – Twice Removed

R.E.M. – Automatic For The People

Rollins Band – The Only Way To Know For Sure

and…

and…

and…

I could go on for days, you know..

It’s the only way a TV show like The Osbournes could have happened. And it’s the only way a concept like Dr. Ozzy could ever have come about. And yes, it seems obvious that someone else wrote the book after cobbling together Ozzy’s mumblings and rantings, especially the sensible bits. But who cares? There is actually some great advice scattered through these pages, if you’re looking for that sort of thing. But more pleasingly, there are tons of opportunities to laugh out loud, more than you would probably credit.  They should have called this book Advice From Left Field, because that’s what you get from him.

Same as when I read his recent biography, Ozzy made me laugh. He’ll make you laugh, too. Something that coked-out-of-his-ass Ozzy from the 70s would have been unlikely to achieve. Or, if he did, you need more help than this book can offer.

There is certainly a precedent for their doing oddball things. In fact, it could be considered their modus operandi. Their last EP is cover tunes of Australian artists only, their live album was recorded at some kid’s bar mitzvah. They dressed in drag and covered Tomorrow from Annie. But this one, hooboy, it’s from deep left field. Six tracks, actually sung in Japanese. I didn’t know any of these songs, making it the first time in their growing discography that they’ve specifically chosen music most of us are not likely to have heard, unless you’re fan of Japanese music (of course). Thanks for the introduction, though, boys!

Kai Band’s Hero rocks along nicely. Tulip’s Kokoro No Tabi is a pleasing sing along (if you speak the language). Takuro Yoshida’s Kekkon Shiyoyo has a slightly country feel to it (through the Gimme Gimme filter, of course). The Tigers’ C-C-C rocks harder (and has hand claps!). The breakdowns here are in English, though I have no way of knowing if the original did. Funny when they shush us, though. Kaze’s 22 Sai No Wakare keeps the pace frantic (nice how the EP speeds up as it goes). And then The Blue Hearts’ Linda Linda pulls the rug out of the speed-fest with a reggae beat. And trumpets!  Of course,  it still blasts away in spots, too. Sweet!

There is a precedent in rock history for bands to do special things for their fans in the East, like area-specific live albums and the venerable Japanese Versions of albums, which invariably include rare extra tracks only available on said releases. Maybe this is their gift to their fans out there. Or maybe, given their goofy natures, they just love karaoke. Kudos to them for learning enough Japanese (or at least memorizing the lyrics to these six songs) and managing the whole affair quite credibly.

It’s another great EP from the Gimmes. I may not play it as much as their other stuff, but every so often it’ll give me a chuckle to hear just how far they’re willing to go in their pursuit of making all kinds of music their own.

Nothing fancy, just the album version of the song, and a radio edit which removes a whopping 0:13 from the album version. I didn’t notice which 0:13 it was, exactly. I was too busy rocking out. Whatever, it’s a cool song. Chunky AC/DC-like riff, straight drum beat, and a cowbell! A monster in concert, and it fits the album proper perfectly too. Just a great Sloan track. Deserves constant radio play.

The packaging is standard jewel case (not a thin cardboard crappy one like some promo CDs), with period-matching ‘ghosting’ image of the band on a lovely grey/blue background, and tray sheet too. There’s a little booklet in the lid, as well. The only odd thing is, for a promo CD, it doesn’t mention which album it’s from anywhere in the text. Weird. I mean, as Sloan fans, we all know Action Pact like the back of our hands, but the exclusion of such basic information, when the producers, engineers and mixers get a listing, is odd.

Anyway, as a Sloan fan, I’m glad this artifact washed up on my shores… even if I technically had to participate in illegality to get it. Sorry CRIA, I won’t name names.

The version they blasted out kicked ass, of course. 

And Greg Demos, bass player, slipped and fell, landing right on his ass. He got back up and kept playing, but he probably walked funny for a day or so.

Check it: 

To say I loved this would be unparalleled understatement.

Ice Cream is a great old jump boogie in that old party style, bringing turn of the last century ‘jass’ one hundred years into the future. Glorious. Lots of solo turns, and each is phenomenal. If you’re not tapping your foot along to this, stop listening now.

Move without much pause into the sweetly loping Forty-Four. Clapton’s vocals growl, just like they did on his From The Cradle record. The guitar is much more to the fore in this track, and that relentless piano echoing the snare drum is hypnotic. We get more huge solos, all tastefully dirty and suiting the song. The liner notes list this as written by Chester Burnett, but you might know him by the name Howlin’ Wolf. Or, if you’re an afficianado, maybe you know Roosevelt Sykes’ earlier take on it. So hot.

In the Notes On Play The Blues inside the booklet, Wynton describes WC Handy’s Joe Turner’s Blues here as a ‘southern slow drag,’ and that it sure is. It’s so sweet, playing at half speed is just as powerful as the finger-twisting speed of other tracks here. This is lazy afternoon music, hell, maybe even funeral march music.

Louis Armstrong’s The Last Time opens with a sweet clarinet, which makes way for a really fat-toned trumpet by Wynton. That must’ve been Clapton saying “yeah!” during the intro. The clarinet comes back and you can’t help but smile. The band members are surely enjoying it. The vocals ride in on a wave of piano, followed by just great instrumentation all around. These cats are just revelling in it. Hot damn.

W.C. Handy’s Careless Love is another slow stomper, though the horns in the background are lightly kinetic. A sweet mix of slow and agile. Clapton’s vocals mix perfectly with his bluesy guitar line, and holy hell what a solo! And that trumpet… I need to play this CD over and over and just let that horn seep into my blood. I do believe I will.

Head straight into the Kidman Blues, which double-times it straight into a dance jive that’ll make you move no matter what you’re doing otherwise. Fun! Stand-out here is the piano through the whole tune. There’s a wall of horns, they’re all yammering at once, but no one is stepping in the way of any other. Another huge guitar solo… all of it stunning.

A big, messy teaser intro leads into a dirge-like Layla. It takes the crowd a while to pick up the hint of what it is, but when they do, they love it. It’s interesting how well this song fits in with the surrounding standards and classic old blues. Clapton has played with variations of this track many times through the years. At this version’s pace, the tune becomes even more plaintive, even more pained. Clapton’s guitar solo is incendiary, and when Wynton takes over to solo, the tune starts to swing before sliding back. So cool.

Joliet Bound is pure old blues jamming from Memphis Minnie, with a propulsive beat like an old steam engine at full throttle. What a harrowing tale, and Chris Crenshaw’s vocals are great. “I’ve been drinking white lightning, it’s gone to my head” indeed. A great muted horn solo. I swear.

Then we’re swept to a New orleans side street as a funeral procession glides past, the band marching sweetly through Just A Closer Walk With Thee. Just let it wash over you. You’ll find yourself wishing it would never end. Taj Mahal’s vocals are also really great. Then, around the six and a half minute-mark, one of those great drum breakouts appears from the sadness, enough to make you shake your moneymaker and not care who was watching. From there the track takes off into a gleeful blast of happy jazz.

Ostensibly the concert ends here, though Mahal comes back for a jaunt through Corrine, Corinna, which is just a great party track. He even brings a banjo. Yeah, man. Yeah. You can surely tell the band can’t get enough, they’d play all night. This last volley is just gravy. Delicious, jazzy gravy.

Please. Buy This. Even if it’s the only jazz CD you’d own. Damn. This might be my album of the year.

***

And then I did it all over again, this time watching the DVD of the same performance. But the DVD is so much more than that!

Sure, we get all of the performances with mostly good camera-work (some of it does jump around on zoom disorientingly fast), and a bit more of the stage banter that was edited from the CD. That’s the part of shows like this that I love. The little stories between songs, the stuff of life that the final product wouldn’t otherwise give you.

It’s fun to watch these musicians ply their trade, but I still have to say that I’m glad I played the CD first. Sort of like when you’re glad you read the book before seeing the movie. It’s better when your mind takes in the music first, before the distractions of watching them move and play in the film takes over. The latter is much more passive. However you look at it, though, this stuff is BRILLIANT.

And as if that isn’t enough, there are patches of documentary-style footage as well, backstage shots of band members, with voices-overs from Wynton. One of the most poignant things he says, (I think it was during the end credits), is that to have all of these amazing musicians together, they were really trying to come from a place of quality. Make the most of it, you know? Right on, brother. Right on. It’d be so easy for these guys to get together, whip off some old songs like it weren’t no thing, and the crowd would still go nuts. I appreciate the time and effort they clearly put into this whole production. That’s the real gift to us, right there.

As a bonus track on the DVD, Taj Mahal comes back to the stage solo and rips off a pretty stellar version of Stagger Lee. On its own, this is really neat. It also seems a little out of context of the setting of full band we’d enjoyed for the whole show. Was it an afterthought? Were they standing around right after the band left the stage following Corrine, Corrina and somebody said, ‘hey, Taj, go play your cool version of that old song?’ Who knows. Who cares? But it doesn’t add a whole lot to the main experience.

Overall, the DVD is just as much fun to watch as the CD is to listen to… again, and again, and again, and…

Buy this set, already. Go on!

WRONG! I had to hold back my bile as I saw their rankings. When I looked at who had voted, there were some great names there. But who chose the order? How did this abomination even happen? 

I prepared a great big rant in my head, all about how wrong the list was, how the ordering was askew and disproportionate, and how I just hate RS magazine in general. And then, in the middle of the brewing tirade, I had a moment of clarity. The sun broke through the cumulous storm clouds and I understood. The list is idiotic. Most of what passes for music journalism in that magazine is idiotic. So it was my fault, really, for expecting better of them. For hoping that they might (for once) do something of interest and value. And after that, I felt so much better, though I still had a zillion questions… 

One might not argue with Hendrix at #1. Or you might, I dunno. That’s a getting-high late-night debate. But really, for the top 15, they’re all interchangeable. It’s lower in the list that the weirdness begins. 

How is it that Bonnie Raitt and Joni Mitchell are the only two women (out of the 100 players) in the list? (Though they let four other women vote). 

How is it they can include James Hetfield and not Kirk Hammett (though he got a vote)? 

How is it they can leave the (surely deserving) Mike McCready off the list (though he too got a vote)? Or, for that matter, Brian May! A vote, but no place on the list! 

How is it that Jack White can rank one place higher than Robert Johnson? All deference to Jack, but C’MON! Even if you were to argue that this is a matter of personal taste, or that modern readers would better identify with White’s playing, it is still true that Johnson would play circles around White. 

Dimebag Darrell is #92 out of 100? Joe Perry is #84? Hell, Muddy Waters is buried way back at #49?!?! And WTF is Alex Lifeson doing totally insulted way down at #98? Have you people even heard any Rush songs other than Tom Sawyer? 

Where is Django Reinhardt? Buddy Guy? Steve Vai? Or Jeff Healey (don’t forget, he could play WAY better than you, and he was blind!)?. Why is Kurt Cobain #73 while Joe Perry is #84? To whom does this make even a twisted sort of sense?  

I could go on. And on. 

Again, I just have to shake my head and tell myself not to get so worked up about this. Very little in this magazine pleases me. I don’t even know why I continue to read it. But honestly, people, if you’re gonna go to all the work of making a cover story for a national music magazine about the Top 100 Guitarists Of All Time, could you not at least try to have it make some sense? 

Even knowing it’s an idiotic list, it still makes me tired. And mad. Screw you, RS.