Hip, Wiarton, A Departure, A Conspiracy, and a Great New Hymn

Unmitigated Joy, Bliss and Glee

The Tragically Hip are releasing a new album, called We Are All The Same, on April 7!!! I cannot begin to tell you how mind-blowingly happy this makes me. I sure do love me some Hip. Get it. You NEED it. Buy it for all your friends, too. It’s gonna rule.

Wiarton Airport!!!! Oh Hallelujah!!!

Unless you’re from around here, you’re saying “Uh, where?!” It’s OK. Nevermind, all you need to know is that THE HIP ARE PLAYING THERE IN JUNE!! They are coming to our neck of the woods and bringing their joyous traveling roadshow with them, along with Sam Roberts, the Arkells (whom we saw open up for the completely brilliant Immaculate Machine at the Horseshoe), and The Spades. Hooray!

Now, I have some concerns. Do I really wanna spend $49.95 per ticket to be crushed by the backwards-baseball hat, beer-swilling crowd around here? A crowd who, by and large, can at best stagger around and drunkenly yell “woooooo!” to share their appreciation for the band? And don’t forget, this is a BIG SHOW for around here. People here are starved for stuff like this. Lots of people here think Toronto is big and scary and that they’re sure to be mugged, beaten and raped the minute they drive into town, so this show’s a big deal because this never happens here. So they’ll ALL be driving their pick-up trucks to Wiarton to mark the occasion with keggers and shouts of “show us your tits!” You get the drift. Small-town life has its charms, oh yes.

I dunno. I’ve seen the band twice, loved ’em both times. I’m due, it’s true, but with this crowd? I just don’t know if I have the patience for it.

But! THE HIP ARE COMING!!!! “Wooooooo!!!!”

One Less Barenaked Lady

So, much ballyhoo has been made of Steven Page leaving the Barenaked Ladies. It is indeed a sad turn of events, I suppose. His was a distinctive voice and contribution to that unit. Whatever his reasons, I hope they move on. Get a new singer… or, don’t get a new singer, just keep going. Write some new songs as the talented musicians you are and get past it. Let him go do theatre, or whatever he claims he’s chosen next.

Frankly, to me it’s a footnote. I stopped REALLY caring about the band around the time of Maroon. I wish them every success in the future, and I will always follow what they do, but somehow this doesn’t hit me as hard as it would have a few years ago. Still, good luck Steve. Really.

A Conspiracy Is Afoot

I’ve been hasty. I was assuming that that horribly-howling woman was responsible for every one of these disgusting, life-sucking renditions of popular songs. But I recently heard a disembowelment of Howard Jones’ No One Is To Blame and a train-wreck of Crowded House’s Don’t Dream It’s Over over the speakers at work. Both as covered by insipid-sounding, song-wrecking (not that it takes that much, in Jones’ case, natch, but you get the drift) Lite FM bullshit artists.

Note the plural there. Artist(s). See, I’ve begun to think that a conspiracy is afoot. Where I used to believe it was all one (purely evil) woman, now I think it is a coven, and they all sound the same.

So, perhaps there’s a cartel afoot, a group of horrid time-wasters wailing away into indifferent microphones, ruining original songs that might maybe have had some relevance at some point to somebody somewhere on some level, ultimately rendering the tunes impotent, useless, and in need of a good shower to wash off the ickyness. Can we not stop this horde before they record any more of this tripe? PLEASE?

Church Hymns At Work

There’s a guy at one of my jobs who definitely marches to his own little drummer boy. Today I heard him singing while he worked alone in a corner of the warehouse. Singing a church hymn. Incorrectly. Hilariously incorrectly.

“Bringing in the sheep, bringing in the sheep, we shall come rejoicing, bringing in the sheeeeep!”

It works on so many levels.

Put yer words here:

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