Quiet Riot – QR III

I told Mike I’d get drunk some night and listen to Quiet Riot III. After his scathing review, being deep into the cups sounded like the only way to go about it. Well, I’ve had a whole bottle of wine and I’m feeling frisky, so here we go. Thanks to the youtubes for streaming the whole damn thing so I don’t have to buy the record. I hope this is legible.

Main Attraction is really, really bad. Coulda been on the Karate Kid soundtrack. Brutally insipid lyrics and a wash of synths. I gotta say, as an opening track, this is pretty scary. The Wild And The Young is next, and it oughta have opened the album. Way better than that last crap. I mean, not classic rock, or anything, not up there with the best this band ever mustered, but just better than that other shite. An OK song more along the lines of what I expected.

Twilight Hotel is so 80s I can’t even stand it. I’m not saying I could do better at any of this, I’m pretty drunk. Just saying, this is so formulaic it’s laughable. Down And Dirty starts off better, I like that guitar. Too bad it’s tacked onto a really bad Beverly Hills Cop soundtrack song. Really bad edits on the vocals too, he was singing over top of himself. Ugh. Rise Or Fall is another formulaic rock song, but at least it’s better than some of this other shite. Holy crap they need to get rid of those synthesizers. Honestly, somebody get a gun and shoot that guy. Make it stop. This could be a stronger song without the keys.

Put Up Or Shut Up is a straight up rocker. Actually, out of the pile I’ve heard so far, this one is one of the stronger tracks. Probably because I can’t hear the synths. It’s just a rock song, but within this context it’s better than most. Still Of The Night is just bad. Sorry. NOPE. Next! Oops. Bass Case is a waste of album time.

The Pump would be good live (if they pulled it off). It’s a bluesy riff in the verses. The chorus is ass. And the lyrics! Hooboy bad. Still, volume from a good sound system might help it. Slave To Love goes back to the Karate Kid. And I don’t even like shit like that. Wow I can’t believe I gave this much life time to this much of this nonsense. One more track, fingers crossed… Helping Hands is the final nail in the shite coffin. These lyric are ridiculous. Were they taking the piss? If so, thumbs up this is hilarious. If not, if they were serious holy shit. I can’t even contemplate it.

Final report: This is the biggest steaming pile of bad 80s rawk I’ve heard in ages. It’s just… awful. It has to suck, as a band, to make an entire album’s worth of songs you know you’re never gonna play again. And if you have to, you’ll be embarrassed to do it. Sad.

Mike, you can link to this if you like, but I am drunk and I am not to be trusted. Wow I am glad that I didn’t pay to own this. Lebrain has sent me on some happy adventures, in the past. This has not been one of them.

And now I have the drunk hiccups…

UPDATE: As per Mike’s request, I have a PRO TIP for you. Do not, repeat NOT listen to this album while on acid. Trust me. You will be doing your future self a favour by simply not going there. You have been warned. You’re welcome.

20 thoughts on “Quiet Riot – QR III

    1. keepsmealive says:

      Thanks Deke! Funny, I got tipsy and wrote up whatever came to mind and I’ve got more comments on it than when I try to do it sober… Might be a lesson here… Maybe it’s me and Brendan Behan, you know? “I’m a drinker with a writing problem…”

      And hey man, welcome to the KMA. Don’t worry about taking your shoes off at the door, just come on in. Standard house rules apply: I will get you your first drink. After that, you know where the fridge is so help yerself. 🙂 Hope I can get some more stuff up here that you guys can enjoy. I don’t promise insightful, professional quality stuff like you get from Lebrain. Not even close. But we do try to have a good time around here…

      Like

  1. mikeladano says:

    This review is chock full of hilarious quotes! Aaron, don’t take this the wrong way — you should write drunk more often! I’ll even give you something to do it with. A spoiler — I have another scathing QR review coming if you want to down a bottle of wine and do this again 🙂

    Favourite quotes:

    “deep into the cups” — never heard this phrase before.

    “Coulda been on the Karate Kid soundtrack. Brutally insipid lyrics and a wash of synths.”

    “Too bad it’s tacked onto a really bad Beverly Hills Cop soundtrack song.”

    “Wow I can’t believe I gave this much life time to this much of this nonsense.”

    “Final nail in the shit coffin.”

    Like

    1. keepsmealive says:

      I’m so glad I decided to do that while under the influence. I can’t imagine taking a full shot of that while sober. I’m not a big enough fan.

      Honestly, I’m just happy that it was coherent. I’m glad there were funny bits for you in it. Maybe I will do more inebriated reviewing in future. It was fun. I like that there’s no pressure or worry about getting things just right because, well, yer drunk so who gives a shit?

      I also seem to have been obsessed with bad 80s movie soundtracks… but that’s what that crap sounded like to me!

      Like

    1. keepsmealive says:

      It’s kind of true. Just these vague memories of really shitty lyrics and synthesizers…

      PRO TIP: Do not, repeat NOT listen to this record on acid. You’re doing your future self a huge favour.

      Like

      1. keepsmealive says:

        When time and funds allow, I will gladly get sauced and write about music. I’ll be accepting donations for funding my next project over there by the door…

        I’m wondering though, if this is something that happens again, should I only write about albums we already know suck?

        Like

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