KMA777 Twisted Sister – Love Is For Suckers

It’s Friday night, the kids are in bed, and I’ve had quite a bit of wine! With the week we’ve had, especially winter weather-wise, this is release! Anyway, last week, I had some drinks and did the same thing, and I wrote about Quiet Riot’s III album after Mike had panned it. Some of you enjoyed my inebriated ramblings, so, um, you’re welcome?

Now, I don’t wanna say this is gonna be a series because it likely isn’t. But I’ve had some wine (and then some more) and this time it’s gonna be Twisted Sister’s Love Is For Suckers. This is by request of Mike, who gave it 2.5/5 on his most excellent site that you should all be reading and if you don’t then you’re grossbuckets.

An aside before I begin: I only know from reading Mike’s site that this was supposed to be a Dee Snider solo record, but the label were (typically) jerks and made it a Twisted record. That sucks, for Dee (and Twisted, of course).

So. Here we go.

Wake Up The Sleeping Giant isn’t so bad. It’s a rock song at heart, even if the lyrics are pretty bad. Already it’s better than all of QR III. Hot Love is totally indicative of the era… meaning, of course, that there was a market for this sort of shitty middle-of-the-road rock pap. I think it had to do with all the big hair. Honestly, I think it impaired judgement. Must’ve been the weight of all that mousse, or something. Oh it’s not a BAD song. If it had been done very differently it might have worked. Wait, that makes it sort of bad, doesn’t it… Oh g-d I’m trying to think clearly after this much wine… Gah. It never works.

The title track rocks pretty hard. I like the backing tracks, the tune stands up (real drums or not). Except, I would completely re-write the lyrics.  I would especially have cut that Big Bopper-esque thing in the middle (Diamond Dave has done it too). Intended innuendo aside, that was pretty bad. I’m So Hot For You made me nervous by title alone. However, it’s another case of cool enough riff and bad lyrics. It’s been a long time since I played Stay Hungry, but I don’t remember Snider taking the easy way out with his rhymes quite this blatantly. Maybe he did, I dunno. I’m no expert.

Tonight starts out sounding epic and then ramps up the pace. This isn’t a bad tune. Could’ve been Twisted, if it had been more menacing. I’d have been disappointed if Me And The Boys didn’t rhyme, at some point, with ‘making a noise.’ This song delivers, however. Which saddens me, somehow. Of course it does. It’s another rocker, of it’s time. Not bad, not great. One Bad Habit is another track that has decent music and suffers its lyrics. Maybe this is why the album got such a bad score at Mike’s. Maybe Dee ran out of things to say. His one bad habit is that he like to rock and roll? Um, Dude… It’s your fuckin’ job. NONE of us are surprised, over here. Why, at this stage in your career, could you possibly feel the need to apologize for what you do? Weird.

I Want This Night To Last Forever is another title that terrified me. I do not want this night to last forever. I don’t have enough wine to get me through forever, especially not if I’ve gotta listen to THIS forever. And the song itself is tepid at best. This is the first track I’ve heard, here, that I would have skipped from the get-go. The others, with some work, might’ve been alright. This one? No. Next! You’re All I Need is another one to skip. It’s a nice sentiment, but a shitty, shitty song. And again, not that I could do better. I’m half in the bag and sitting in front of my iMac at midnight babbling about this shit because about three people on the internet think it’s funny. But I can guarantee that if I were sober, I would say the same about these last two tracks. Maybe worse. I dunno until I get some sleep.

And finally it’s Yeah Right, which wants to go out on a rock note by ripping off, um… what is that. Bo Diddley? Chuck Berry? My brain, addled as it is by the grape, wants to grasp the influence but isn’t quite getting there. Listen to the track , you’ll get it straight away, surely. This could have been a Twisted track. But again, not bad, not great.

Well then.

You know, I have a hard time giving this a 2.5, Mike. It’s a solid 3, maybe a bit more. Put the good headphones on and just listen to the music, not the lyrics, and remeber the context of when it was made. Given all that, it could’ve been what what was needed. Something just didn’t click. Perhaps the disappointment here lies in that fact that this sure isn’t Stay Hungry or You Can’t Stop Rock And Roll. Far from it. Whatever it is, it’s miles ahead of that fuckin’ QR III.

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Posted on January 25, 2014, in posts by aaron and tagged . Bookmark the permalink. 16 Comments.

  1. Even the song titles sound like a list of Rock clichés. Not sure I’m ever going to be in a hurry to hear this one.

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  2. “Grossbuckets”…LOL!

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  3. Classic quote: “His one bad habit is that he like to rock and roll? Um, Dude… It’s your fuckin’ job.” LOVE IT!

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  4. “I’m half in the bag and sitting in front of my iMac at midnight babbling about this shit because about three people on the internet think it’s funny.”

    You keep writing drunk, and I guarantee you, you can get that to even four people. Or five!

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    • I don’t think I could handle the fame and notoriety…

      It’s funny, you know, I have been trying to write about something at least once every day since the new year. And I don’t feel like the reviews are THAT different when I’m in my cups versus not. Surely there must be something insightful or witty occasionally when I do sober ones… Ah well. My rampant alcoholism extends to once a week, if I’m lucky, and even then it’s in quantities that are pathetic. I’m sure real drinkers need what gets me loaded just to get going. I’m a lightweight, in other words. A cheap date, though!

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      • I feel that sometimes if you try to analyze your own creativity, you snuff some kind of spark of ingenuity. Either way I enjoy both your drunk and your sober writing. Maybe it’s your super power to do both, although I’m pretty sure Stephen King was wasted during all the 80’s and I like those books…

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      • I’ve always wanted a super power. Now I just need a CAPE! Sad that I don’t already have one… Anyway, I see the compliment there, and thanks. 😉

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  5. Brilliant review man. Without a trace of sarcasm you are the best drunk writer I’ve ever read. If you choose to do more of these in the future, well, at least me and 2 others will be following. But seriously I think you pretty much nailed it and with many laughs to boot. Well done.

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    • Well thanks! I just wrote whatever came to mind. Half-addled mind, at that. I’m glad there were some laughs. We do, after all, run the risk of these things being incoherent and terrible… You’ll have to think of some more records for me to hear while toasty. Surely there’s more bombs out there…

      Hm. I wonder what would happen if I listened to a record I know I’ll love while having a bevvy or three… Would I get sarcastic and bash it, like I did these last two stinkers? Or would I get maudlin and even more lovey with it? I just don’t know…

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  6. It’s cool that u have a few pops and counter Mikes reviews with your own critique…makes for a good read pal!
    My younger brother bought this at the time of its release and I just could not get into it at all. Esp once I read the credits and it was a who’s who of studio guys some of which we know and well it was obvious a record contract was being fulfilled by this release.
    This was one I passed on.
    The other act that I know of that did this was Helix with a It’s Been A Plasure Doing Business With You. As a solo album for Vollmer it was good but it being labeled as a Helix release ..nada…different style of rock….still bought that one cuz I respect Vollmer but haven’t listened to it in yrs…

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    • My favourite Helix album Deke. I wrote the Wikipedia article on it, too. Like how I threw in the Martin Popoff review quote? It was a tricky Wikipedia article to write because it is hard to find solid information about it. I interviewed Brian Doerner about 8 years ago — he played drums on the whole thing, Fritz wasn’t in the studio.

      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/It's_a_Business_Doing_Pleasure

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    • Yeah, these guys seem to get a kick out of it. Me too, it’s fun to listen to something like that while a little wobbly. You’re all just lucky it’s coherent enough to be read. My thoughts surely feel like they aren’t. I seem to be like Johnny Fever that time they did the alcohol test… The more I drink, the better my typing.

      Helix is another band for which I really only know the hits. And Mike gave me the one record (which is awesome). I really should check out more.

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  7. Just read your wiki entry….yeah Popoff never pulls any punches dudes a straight shooter! If your gonna quote anyone might as well be him!
    I’m still not to sure of this one though….kinda a fence sitter for me…

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