What Do You Do With A Drunken Sailor?

Being the great father I am, I was trying to sing What Do You Do With A Drunken Sailor to my kids, in the car yesterday afternoon. It’s a shanty we all know, right? Well for the life of me I couldn’t remember the words.

So.

What shall we do with a drunken sailor,
What shall we do with a drunken sailor,
What shall we do with a drunken sailor,
Early in the morning?

Put/chuck him in the long boat till he’s sober.
Put him in the long-boat and make him bail her.
What shall we do with a drunken soldier?
Put/lock him in the guard room ’til he gets sober.
Put him in the scuppers with a hose-pipe on him.
Pull out the plug and wet him all over
Tie him to the taffrail when she’s yardarm under
Heave him by the leg in a runnin’ bowline.
Scrape the hair off his chest with a hoop-iron razor.
Give ‘im a dose of salt and water.
Stick on his back a mustard plaster.
Keep him there and make ‘im bail ‘er.
Give ‘im a taste of the bosun’s rope-end.

What’ll we do with a Limejuice skipper?
Soak him in oil till he sprouts a flipper.
What shall we do with the Queen o’ Sheba?
What shall we do with the Virgin Mary?
Shave his chin with a rusty razor.
Shave his belly with a rusty razor.
Give ‘im a hair of the dog that bit him.
Put him in the bilge and make him drink it.
Put him in bed with the captain’s daughter.

Er.

Apparently you don’t want to get drunk on that boat. They clearly don’t think much of the Captain’s daughter, either. If they put him in the bilge and make him drink it right before putting him into bed with her, well, she’s gotta be pretty tough stuff..

What a crazy song. Perfect for kids!

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Posted on May 2, 2014, in posts by aaron and tagged . Bookmark the permalink. 10 Comments.

  1. I’ve never heard of this song. Poor captain’s daughter!

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  2. I think I’ve only ever heard people sing the first verse of this and then leave it at that. Now I know why!

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  3. I remember singing this in grade school in the late 70s..hahaha……looking back I’m sure the teachers were high??!!
    Picture it fellas the early pm sing song and nowadays if you were the teacher leading this in class u would be canned quicker than Vince Neil slamming down a can of Heiniken!

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    • My lovely wife remembered them teaching us this song in music class in grade school, as well. We were in the same class and for the life of me I don’t recall it. I do remember a lot of horrible run-throughs of Ob-La-Di-, Ob-La-Da, though. Ugh.

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  4. Daddydinorawk

    I was thinking Pere Ubu..

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    • Man I had a hard time watching that, it was too much like a flashback to the weekend when I got sauced on wine and then listened to Jesus Christ.

      I swear, this video is an almost exact duplication of my experience after that listening/drinking session. Right down to the bubbles!

      It’s kind of freaky, when you think about it.

      Like

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