Oasis – Stop The Clocks

I haven’t been this deep into a bottle of wine in a while. I like it here. I think I’ll stay…

IT’S FRIDAY NIGHT! TIME FOR A DRUNK REVIEW!

Oasis. Never liked them. Never. Not once. All deference to those who do. Honestly, you go for it if this floats your boat. I’m happy for you!

To me, they’re nasal, and fucking annoying. I’ve met so many people who love them, and they all try to convert me. Nothing anyone has ever said has penetrated my understanding that these people (and their music) don’t interest me in the slightest.

So I am (very) drunk. Well and truly into my cups on red wine right now. A really fucking cheap red wine, as it turns out. There’s something about a cheap drunk I can get into way more than I can get into this… whatever this is…

Oasis. Fuck. Why is it even here in my house? I found this 2CD set in our thrift shop, for $3. And with my staff discount I paid $1.50. Money can’t be it. Why do I keep flirting with these people? Maybe it’s because so many people do like them, so I feel, somehow, like I oughta. Maybe some small part of my subconscience knows I should like them, as some sort of big part of rock history or something. But then I play the songs and.. well fuck. I just don’t care. And why did I buy it? Maybe I thought a set of hits might be more palatable than an album. Probably that was it. I can also sell this on for quite a profit, quite easily.

This isn’t much of a review so far. Let me make it easy. I’ve been sitting here through all of this guitars and drums and whiny bitch vocals and I just don’t care. That’s the crux of it. It all sounds the fucking same, one big wash of same-sounding… whatever this is, and wheeeeeee! Fair play to all the fans everywhere don’t flame me. Just saying, if these fuckers can be famous, then anyone can. They probably laugh every morning they wake up in some fancy place, next to someone naked whom they fucked the night before, laughing that all of this was possible because they wrote these big anthemic nothings that go nowhere and prove nothing. Insert fucking guitar solo here. Oh, and don’t forget we love the Beatles meh meh MEH.

I shouldn’t talk. I don’t know anything about these people. Nor do I want to. I’ve never had a zillion-selling album that let me tour the world and fuck anything with legs. They did, so they’re better than me, right? Sure. Look, I bought their 2CD hits set in a thrift shop because maybe I wanted to give them a chance. Another chance (I’ve tried before, as you might recall, from these pages). Here it is, cheaply and right in front of me, all laid out with its legs spread and all the hits on two CDs and… I still don’t care. Not one goddamn bit.

If I was in a desert, dehydrated and starving, stumbling to my death, and I came across this Oasis, I would keep on fucking walking.

CD1: Live Forever / Acquiesce / Supersonic / Half The World Away / Go Let It Out / Songbird / Morning Glory / Champagne Supernova / Don’t Look Back In Anger

CD2: Rock ’n’ Roll Star / Some Might Say / Talk Tonight / Lyla / The Importance Of Being Idle / Wonderwall / Slide Away / Cigarettes And Alcohol / The Masterplan

In Sum:

This is more Oasis than (probably) I have ever stomached in my entire life, all in one sitting. And my final analysis? MEH. Fucking MEH. I need more wine. A LOT MORE WINE.

53 thoughts on “Oasis – Stop The Clocks

  1. 1537 says:

    I really enjoyed their first, swaggering, LP but got very bored, very quickly after that. Coincidentally the night you wrote this Mrs 1537 was watching the Kinks musical in London, with Noel Gallagher in the audience.

    Like

    1. keepsmealive says:

      I have the first record here too, so with that and the Masterplan it looks like I have a couple more drunken raging nights coming up! Hahaha

      You know, I just can’t bring myself to care about those guys. Who cares if they were in the audience? I wouldn’t walk across the street to say hello to them. Kinks musical could be cool, though.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. J. says:

    First Oasis album grabbed me, but wore off pretty quickly. After that I lost interest. I can accept that they done a bit of work revitalising ‘guitar music’ in the UK back in the day, but I still find them uninspiring and, well, there have been much better bands forgotten about over the years.

    I dare say your review was kind on account of the wine … 😉

    Like

    1. keepsmealive says:

      I tried, man, I really tried. I have the first record here, amazingly enough. For a guy who never liked them, I seem to own a lot of Oasis. WTF. Hahaha. I’m not a closet fan. I’ll probably sell them on.

      Usually the wine brings out the harsher reviews. If that was kind, I need more wine! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. J. says:

        Haha! All the Oasis albums over there! The first one did grab me at first – it was new, wee bit swagger, and a couple of good tunes. I just got tired of it too quickly … likely the result of major Oasisitis grabbing the UK. Best band in the world proportions. Every minute of every day there was something Oasis rammed in the ears and eyes. Ugly scenes.

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          1. keepsmealive says:

            See, the only band I got into from that wave of Brits was Radiohead. Blur, Pulp, Oasis, Travis, any of that other stuff… never did much for me. The band I was in years ago used to play Song 2 though, just ‘cos it was fun and everyone knew it.

            Liked by 1 person

            1. 1537 says:

              Pulp are a band I really like too, lots of good observational stuff. Most of the scene, like most scenes I think, was pretty rank though.

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        1. keepsmealive says:

          Oasis Agnostic… fun! Still leaves things a bit open, though. I think I’m an Oasis Atheist.

          Honesty and the F-bomb. Just some of the many things the KMA offers this wonderful family site! 😉

          Like

  3. Vinyl Connection says:

    Great fun. And an interesting writing approach. In vino veritas and all that.

    Probably a bit risky to own up, but I do like the first three albums. And absolutely endorse Mike’s comment about The Masterplan; one of the best b-side comps ever.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. mikeladano says:

      Indeed sir! In fact I think almost all of their early singles are worth owning. And I too like the first three albums. Be Here Now took the longest to get into — a year or more! But when it finally clicked it became a favourite.

      Liked by 1 person

    2. keepsmealive says:

      Thanks! I’ve done a few drunk reviews, in these pages, and it’s usually something I know I’m not gonna like, or something others disliked and I give it a spin while in my cups. Good fun.

      Fair play for liking Oasis. Millions do. They just didn’t speak to me, and I’m one Canadian out here in the hinterland, so as you were! 🙂

      I appreciate the recommend, but I’m unlikely to grab more Oasis for quite some time. I feel like I’ve given them a fair shake, for a while. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Vinyl Connection says:

        Oh sure. Enough Oasis, already.

        I was thinking about who I’d choose for a drunken rant, and it has to be a really successful band (or it seems like bullying) and one very well known (or it’s some sort of –ism). Hm. Maybe I’ll do the Stones… :-O

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        1. keepsmealive says:

          Drunken rants are highly recommended. Great Friday night fun.

          Hm… drunk reviews, deciding if yer gonna keep or ditch records… you’re starting to think like me! 🙂 COMMUNITY!!! \m/ \m/

          I usually only do drunk reviews of stuff that (I’m fairly certain, going in) that I’m not gonna dig. Or maybe others say it sucks, so I get loaded and go find out why! I did that with a Quiet Riot record Mike disliked. As for the Stones, I say go for it. Give ’em a blast, if you don’t like ’em or you feel they need it. We could all find stuff in their decades of releases that coulda been waaaay better. 🙂

          Liked by 1 person

  4. mikeladano says:

    I own this but I don’t think I ever played it? Maybe once. I know I could have made a better Oasis compilation.

    My recommendation: Check out The Masterplan, their comp of non-album B-sides. Waaaaay better than this. One of their best.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. jprobichaud says:

    Although I don’t necessarily agree with your assessment of Oasis, this is a fun read. There should be more drunk reviews. How’s your head this morning?

    Like

    1. keepsmealive says:

      Hey thanks for reading! I figured I might get more people saying they like these guys than I did (so far). As I said, fair play to the fans, go on and listen to ’em! Myself, I tried this set, I really did. Not feeling it. Ah well. Can’t win ’em all!

      I’m glad you enjoy the drunk reviews. I do too! There could be more, but I don’t drink all that much all that often. I also don’t usually buy or listen to things I know I’m not not likely to enjoy. So when I do tie one on, I try to combine alcohol and something to blast… I think it all started when I listened to Lorde that time… holy crap…

      My head’s fine, thanks for asking! I don’t get hangovers. S’all good!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. mikeladano says:

        Yeah kind of. But maybe you can trade up Stop the Clocks for Masterplan. Maybe not worth one more kick at the can, but at the very least more drunk review fodder!

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        1. keepsmealive says:

          Ha yeah maybe. If I saw it in the junk shops, just for you I’d maybe consider it. But it’ll be a while, I think.

          Question: Why would they name their b-sides set The Masterplan? Wouldn’t your A-sides be the Masterplan?

          I don’t understand these people at all.

          Like

        1. keepsmealive says:

          Not really, no. I crash, and sleep like a baby, and wake up in the morning pretty much the same as any other day. I do need an extra pint of water when I first wake up, after nights like that, but that stands to reason. Otherwise, no worries!

          Liked by 1 person

  6. boppinsblog says:

    Even though you make a very compelling argument professing your never ending love of the band, I still think they are a bunch of (wine)y wankers.

    P.S. How is the red wine hangover?

    Like

  7. deKE says:

    Ok! Let me get this straight. You don’t like Oasis! Ahahahahahaha! Scathing review from the Red (Wine) Rocker! Too be honest I can still listen to these guys pretty much but nothing after Be Here Now(97).
    I laughed as the other day Liam called Noel “a potato ” haha in regards of Oasis would ever get back together….
    For some reason I like these guys ….you don’t ..hahahaha
    Fun read…..

    Liked by 1 person

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