It Takes Two (Tylenol Extra Strength)

I thought it would be fun to make a mix of old school hip hop for the kids, show the kids what we used to like back in the 80s. Two things happened:

  1. It is nearly impossible to find old school rap songs that don’t have swearing, or sexual references, or violent imagery in them. I mean, I ultimately found about 25 tracks, but I combed all 4 of my Anthems Hip Hop sets (3CD each = 12CD) to even get those.
  2. My kids didn’t really like it.

They were OK with Run DMC and Aerosmith’s Walk This Way, mostly, but they liked A Tribe Called Quest’s Can I Kick It? better… my lovely wife says in this way you can tell they take after me. We tried Sugarhill Gang, Grandmaster Flash, Gang Starr, Eric B. & Rakim, Young MC, EPMD, Kurtis Blow, a whole bunch of old hits (and reading those names, you can probably guess the tracks they heard). But… meh. My boy said he’d rather Iron Maiden, while my daughter asked for Jake Bugg. So there you go. I’ll keep the disc and we can try it again in a year or so.

One track that bugged me lyrically, though, was Rob Base & DJ E-Z Rock’s It Takes Two. It’s seemingly innocuous, and it has a funky beat (and that damn repeated “yeah!”… “scream” thing throughout) but I listened closely to the lyrics and it hurt my damn head…

 

Check it:

Right about now
You are about to be possessed
By the sounds of
MC Rob Base and DJ E-Z Rock

Possesed? Should I call an exorcist? A… rapsorcist?

I wanna rock right now
I’m Rob Base and I came to get down
I’m not internationally known
But I’m known to rock the microphone

So how far is the range of your being known? Your state? Your town? Your Mom?

Because I get stupid, I mean outrageous

So, say outrageous the first time, then.

Stay away from me if you’re contagious

Um, OK? Are you a germophobe?

‘Cause I’m the winner, no, I’m not a loser

That’s redundant.

To be an MC is what I choose-a

That doesn’t rhyme with loser.

Ladies love me,

Sure they do.

girls adore me

Creepy.

I mean even the ones who never saw me
Like the way that I rhyme at a show

What? If they never saw you, how could they…?

The reason why, man, I don’t know

I don’t know either because you’re not making sense. Also, way to have self-confidence. You don’t know why people would like what you do?

 

My name is Rob, I gotta real funky concept
Listen up, ’cause I’m gonna keep you in step
I got an idea
That I wanna share
You don’t like it, so what, I don’t care

Wait a minute, we just listened all the way to here and you couldn’t give a shit? Why did you write this song, then? It’s to make sure people don’t come near you with their germs, isn’t it. I knew it.

I’m number-one, the uno, I like comp
Bring all the suckers ’cause all them I’ll stomp

Rob Base is Yoda, now?

Bold and black but I won’t protect
All of my followers ’cause all I want is respect

Wait. So you won’t protect your followers but expect them to respect you? Dude.

I’m not a doctor, put them in rapture
A slick brother that can easy outfox ya
‘Cause I’m Rob, the last name Base, yeah
And on the mike, I’m known to be the freshest

Go on, boast to all those you won’t protect…

So let’s start, it shouldn’t be too hard
I’m not a sucker so I don’t need a bodyguard
I won’t fess, wear a bulletproof vest

So you don’t need protection either.

Don’t smoke buddha, can’t stand sess, yes

What? Wait a minute, are you high right now?

The situation that the Base is in
I’m kinda stingy that’s why I don’t wanna lend
A funky rhyme to a foe or a good friend
But listen up ’cause I want you to comprehend

Folks he won’t protect you, and he won’t help you.

‘Cause I’m the leader, the man superior
I take care of ya and then ya get wearier

But you just said you won’t take care of us at all.

So just sit, my rhymes are not counterfeit
The record sells which makes this one a hit
It won’t hurt to listen to Red Alert
Take off your shirt, make sure it don’t hit the dirt

I will not take my shirt off for you, Rob Base.

I like the kids, the guys, the girls
I want the ducats ’cause this is Rob Base’s world
I’m on a mission, ya better just listen
To my rhymes ’cause I’m all about dissin’ ’cause

Now wait a minute. Who are you “dissin’?” And ducats? Seriously? I think the only thing you said here that makes sense to me is that Rob Base is in his own world.

I stand alone, don’t need anyone

You must be fun at parties. Remember your John Donne though, Rob. No man is an island.

‘Cause I’m Rob, just came to have fun

Uh huh.

Don’t need friends that act like foes
‘Cause I’m Rob Base, the one who knows
About things that make ya get weary
Don’t cheer me, just hear me
Out ’cause I got the clout, shout (ho!)
Before I turn the party out

You know about things that make me weary, alright. Have you read your own lyrics?

I won’t stutter, project my voice, speak clearly
So you can be my choice on stage

Wait, so I get to join you on stage now, Mr. I Don’t Need Anyone? What about the germs?

Or on record, go to the Wiz and select it
Take it off the rack, if it’s wack put it back

The Wiz? Of Oz?

I like the Whopper, fuck the Big Mac

Given that you haven’t mentioned food anywhere else in this song, this is random but OK, suuure…

If you want static, so let’s go
So, throw up your hands, go for what you know

I could go for a Big Mac…

Bro’, I got an ego

No kidding. Really?

Yo, talkin’ to me, no, oh?

No. Oh. Yo?

‘Cause Rob is in the front, EZ Rock is on the backup

And he’s probably wondering how long he has to put up with this before he gets a better gig.

We’re not soft, so you better just slack up
‘Cause I’m cool, calm just like a breeze

You have not sounded calm once in this song. In fact, you’ve been very opinionated and nonsensical.

Rock the mike with the help of E-Z Rock
On the set, the music plays
Only cuts the records that I say

And if you don’t get your way, Mr. Bossypants, do you lie on the floor, kick and scream and cry until they let you have your way?

***

In Sum: 

It seems like such an innocuous vacuous pop rap song. And it is. Just don’t listen to the lyrics. They’ll hurt your head.

And keep your germs to yourself. Apparently. Haha what a dumb song.

Pass the Tylenol.

64 thoughts on “It Takes Two (Tylenol Extra Strength)

  1. Sarca says:

    Haha, I used to rap along to this after a few beers! I don’t drink like I used to these days, but reading along to the lyrics makes me think, yeah, this song is idiotic. lol

    Liked by 1 person

  2. SpeedySailor says:

    Me likey a lotey. Nice umm– article thing? I’m always gonna have a special place for 80s Hip-Hop, love me some Rakim, Tribe, De La etc. So much good stuff there.
    Milo.

    Like

    1. keepsmealive says:

      Um, me thankey you a lotey! Man, I’ve got a nostalgic spot for that old rap stuff too. It just boggled me how much of it I could not (as a responsible parent) play for my young children. And it makes me wonder if my parents knew what we were listening to haha!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. boppinsblog says:

    The lyric “stay away from me if you’re contagious” meant something different to me.

    Back then the Aids crisis was all over the news, so that is what I always assumed he meant. Stay away from me if you’re contagious. Back then unfortunately, Aids meant a death sentence, and most people did not want to be anywhere near a person with HIV or Aids for fear of them being “contagious”.

    Like

    1. keepsmealive says:

      Huh. I never thought of that, but it’s a valid point. I suppose it could be about AIDS. I remember when all those basketball players refused to even play pick-up basketball with Magic Johnson because he might get a cut and bleed on them or whatever.

      Like

      1. boppinsblog says:

        I remember the paranoia. I remember asling my buddy “So if I got that, you would stop being friends and never want to see me again.”
        He said “Yes”

        I was quite floored, but some people think that way.

        Like

        1. mikeladano says:

          I think we will see a cure in our lifetimes. I hope so.

          I remember when Rock Hudson had AIDS, a bunch of bullies grabbed a smaller kid and told him to “Say you’re Rock Hudson!” And they wouldn’t let him go until he did…and he didn’t even know what it meant.

          Like

                1. mikeladano says:

                  Even when I was a kid, I couldn’t understand how these so-called Christian school kids could be so fucking mean. In my experience the Catholic schools are way nastier than public.

                  Like

                  1. keepsmealive says:

                    I always see it as simple (in adults as well). Anger and cruelty is fear. They’re insecure and covering it. Hard as it seems, they need compassion, not retaliation. Although it is sometimes really satisfying when someone knocks a dumbass bully on their ass, that’s not the answer.

                    Liked by 1 person

  4. boppinsblog says:

    That song was huge in late 80’s. Every club played it every night. Also Young MC, Technotronic, MC Hammer etc.
    I actually didn’t mind it because it was better than the dance music.
    I never got too deep into it though.
    One thing I liked about that song was sampling of Lyn Collins song, Think.

    I’m surprised your kids don’t enjoy this style of music though. Although liking Maiden is awesome.

    Like

    1. keepsmealive says:

      Oh it was definitely huge (that’s what she said). I found this on Wiki: “The music critic Stephen Thomas Erlewine of the All Music Guide said: “There are many critics and listeners who claim that Rob Base & DJ EZ Rock’s ‘It Takes Two’ is the greatest hip-hop single ever cut. It’s hard to disagree with them.””

      Haha whut.

      Anything is better than dance music, but this one walks that fine line between the hip hop and dance. It’s better to not get too deep into it – it’ll hurt your brain.

      Certainly cool to have the samples in there. In fact, without those samples, the song would be a pile of “lyrics” tossed out in a five minute rhyming/boasting brainstorm workshop.

      I guess all these years of conditioning have taught the kids better taste? Haha I dunno, I try to give a taste of every style of music. This style, right now, didn’t hit them at all really. Maybe they’ll like it later.

      I think my boy likes Maiden so much because I played the hell out of Book Of Souls in the car for ages…

      Liked by 1 person

              1. boppinsblog says:

                It all stems from the 60’s riot days. Cops beat on “longhairs” for no reason.
                Also, bikers get a bad rap from those early days.
                Many metalheads and bikers are older people that happen to enjoy a lifestyle.
                Just because a person looks a certain way, does not make them bad. Be it skin colour, hair length, or attire.

                Like

                1. mikeladano says:

                  You should have seen the bikes at the #kennerandivy rally! What amazing people! And those guys do tons of fundraisers and rallies for people in need. Really proud to have been a small part of that but the bikers were the real stars of the night.

                  Like

                2. keepsmealive says:

                  I always think of Henry Rollins, ranting one time about people hating others who are different. I’m paraphrasing, but basically he said “I don’t hate you because of the colour of your skin, or where you came from, or your sexual orientation, or your gender. But leave me alone in a room with you for five minutes, just talking, and I can find all sorts of reasons you’re an asshole!” Haha oh Hank.

                  Like

    1. keepsmealive says:

      A poet… yeahhhh… suuure…

      haha glad you enjoyed, and thanks! I had to get that rant off my chest.

      I was thinking back… it’s been ages since I did one of these posts… probably that dumb Magic song about he’s gonna marry the girl anyway. Another one that ticked me off. Anyway. Have a great day!

      Liked by 1 person

        1. keepsmealive says:

          One of the joys of parenting a 5-year-old girl, Dude. She loves all those songs and sings them, loudly, wherever she goes. Even when she doesn’t know the words, she just makes some up to fit. It’s hilarious and awesome.

          Liked by 1 person

            1. keepsmealive says:

              That is sad indeed, if you’d wanted to. But I understand the reasons and other things come first, like safety and health. Silver linings are the best way to see things. Myself, I don’t mind when our girl goes around the house singing (badly) at the top of her voice. Pretty soon, she’ll be too cool to share anything with us, so I wanna enjoy these moments while I can!

              Liked by 1 person

                1. keepsmealive says:

                  I doubt she’s tone deaf, given how much music you guys enjoy in your house. I’d say it boils down to a similar situation as here in our house: dude, we have verrry patient lovely wives!

                  Liked by 1 person

            2. boppinsblog says:

              We were told that as well Mike.
              In fact, my wife was told she was not pregnant, but she knew she was.
              She threw up 3 times a day, every day for her entire pregnancy.
              It was a hard road but we were blessed with an awesome kid.
              The medical field is not an exact science. Sometimes it’s best guesses, luck and possibly some higher power, whatever form that may be.
              As for not having kids, if that is the case there are tons of orphans that would love to have awesome parents like you guys.

              Liked by 1 person

              1. mikeladano says:

                Well Bop what I mean by that is less that we can’t have kids biologically, but that we cannot manage kids at all. In the current state of affairs, it would be extremely dangerous to have kids. Jennifer has seizures so frequently…things happen and kids could get hurt if Jen is alone with a baby. Sadly, Jennifer cannot be alone with a baby.

                But as you know we are waiting on that new medication called “marijuana”, we have been referred to a weed doctor.

                Liked by 1 person

                    1. mikeladano says:

                      For what it’s worth, I’ve been tweeting back at him. Trying to get him to block me like he blocked Stephen King a couple weeks ago. Good company to be in….

                      Like

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