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Lady In Red

Here’s another song I gotta rant about:

They play this one at work all the time, and it occurs to me that Chris DeBurgh’s popular song, Lady In Red, is actually a pretty damn insulting tune. I think people take it as a love song, but check out the ineptitude of this dude:

I’ve never seen you looking so lovely as you did tonight
I’ve never seen you shine so bright

So every day up until now she’s just been OK? Unremarkable?

I’ve never seen so many men ask you if you wanted to dance
They’re looking for a little romance, given half a chance

The jealous lover. Real confident in your relationship there, pal.

And I have never seen that dress you’re wearing
Or the highlights in your hair that catch your eyes
I have been blind

I can forgive the dress, I mean, maybe she wanted to surprise you. But she changed her hair and you didn’t notice til now? Dude.

The lady in red is dancing with me, cheek to cheek
There’s nobody here, it’s just you and me
It’s where I want to be
But I hardly know this beauty by my side
I’ll never forget the way you look tonight

It’s nice only she exists for you in this moment, but you hardly know her? How long have you been together? If it’s any longer than fifteen minutes ago, brother, she’ll question why she’s by your side.

I’ve never seen you looking so gorgeous as you did tonight
I’ve never seen you shine so bright, you were amazing

Again? Dude, we got it the first time. Lazy writing.

I’ve never seen so many people want to be there by your side
And when you turned to me and smiled, it took my breath away

You admitted earlier that all those people by her side were other dudes looking for a little romance. Cherish that smile, brother.

And I have never had such a feeling
Such a feeling of complete and utter love, as I do tonight

It was tonight that did it, then? No other night in your time together? What about yesterday? Nothing?

***

This ain’t a love song, though it’s selling itself as one. This guy has, apparently, been oblivious, and this lady in red is the most patient woman in the world to put up with his ineptitude. At least, on this one night, he figured it out.

Gah.

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