Quiet Riot – QR III

I told Mike I’d get drunk some night and listen to Quiet Riot III. After his scathing review, being deep into the cups sounded like the only way to go about it. Well, I’ve had a whole bottle of wine and I’m feeling frisky, so here we go. Thanks to the youtubes for streaming the whole damn thing so I don’t have to buy the record. I hope this is legible.

Main Attraction is really, really bad. Coulda been on the Karate Kid soundtrack. Brutally insipid lyrics and a wash of synths. I gotta say, as an opening track, this is pretty scary. The Wild And The Young is next, and it oughta have opened the album. Way better than that last crap. I mean, not classic rock, or anything, not up there with the best this band ever mustered, but just better than that other shite. An OK song more along the lines of what I expected.

Twilight Hotel is so 80s I can’t even stand it. I’m not saying I could do better at any of this, I’m pretty drunk. Just saying, this is so formulaic it’s laughable. Down And Dirty starts off better, I like that guitar. Too bad it’s tacked onto a really bad Beverly Hills Cop soundtrack song. Really bad edits on the vocals too, he was singing over top of himself. Ugh. Rise Or Fall is another formulaic rock song, but at least it’s better than some of this other shite. Holy crap they need to get rid of those synthesizers. Honestly, somebody get a gun and shoot that guy. Make it stop. This could be a stronger song without the keys.

Put Up Or Shut Up is a straight up rocker. Actually, out of the pile I’ve heard so far, this one is one of the stronger tracks. Probably because I can’t hear the synths. It’s just a rock song, but within this context it’s better than most. Still Of The Night is just bad. Sorry. NOPE. Next! Oops. Bass Case is a waste of album time.

The Pump would be good live (if they pulled it off). It’s a bluesy riff in the verses. The chorus is ass. And the lyrics! Hooboy bad. Still, volume from a good sound system might help it. Slave To Love goes back to the Karate Kid. And I don’t even like shit like that. Wow I can’t believe I gave this much life time to this much of this nonsense. One more track, fingers crossed… Helping Hands is the final nail in the shite coffin. These lyric are ridiculous. Were they taking the piss? If so, thumbs up this is hilarious. If not, if they were serious holy shit. I can’t even contemplate it.

Final report: This is the biggest steaming pile of bad 80s rawk I’ve heard in ages. It’s just… awful. It has to suck, as a band, to make an entire album’s worth of songs you know you’re never gonna play again. And if you have to, you’ll be embarrassed to do it. Sad.

Mike, you can link to this if you like, but I am drunk and I am not to be trusted. Wow I am glad that I didn’t pay to own this. Lebrain has sent me on some happy adventures, in the past. This has not been one of them.

And now I have the drunk hiccups…

UPDATE: As per Mike’s request, I have a PRO TIP for you. Do not, repeat NOT listen to this album while on acid. Trust me. You will be doing your future self a favour by simply not going there. You have been warned. You’re welcome.

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